Eeeeep! Today is the first ever guest post on Pep Talk, courtesy of the wonderful Gabrielle Treanor. My fortnightly newsletters are usually subscriber-only, but I’m opening this one up to everyone so you can read Gabrielle’s wonderful words. Do consider subscribing (for free, if you want!) to Pep Talk if you haven’t already, as well as Gabrielle’s brilliant Substack the Haven.
Ellie and I first connected through The Happy News and I was delighted when she suggested we do a Substack post swap.
So hi, I’m Gabrielle, I live in the Brecon Beacons in Wales with my husband and little rescue pup, and I help caring, empathetic, sensitive, big-hearted women who give so much of their time and energy to others, to bring down their stress and overwhelm, and feel more calm and joy in their daily lives.
At first glance joy and enthusiasm may seem to go hand in hand but calm – where does that fit in? Surely calm is in a totally different ballpark to enthusiasm?
Not so. Calm is not a passive state, it’s not the absence of energy or joy or enthusiasm. Calm is grounding, it’s equilibrium. When we approach life from a place of calm we have clarity, ease, confidence and strength. We’re intentional, we’re tuned into our intuition, we can be our real selves because we’re calm in our bodies and our brains.
And at the same time we can feel joy and be enthusiastic! Because emotions don’t come one by one in an orderly queue, we can feel several emotions at the same time. Calm and enthusiasm go together beautifully because we know what’s important to us, what we’re passionate about, what lights us up when we’re calm and thinking clearly. We can tap into our bodies and feel the pull towards what’s energising us.
Calm energy
The term ‘calm energy’, coined by Robert Thayer who was a professor of psychology at California State University, is a wonderfully succinct and accurate description of what I’m talking about here. Calm energy is when you feel energetic and relaxed at the same time. You’re present and focused, you’re not tired or wired, there’s no tension or stress.
When you’re in calm energy you can give your attention to what you love, you can be truly enthusiastic. Not in a super excited, high energy, adrenaline-pumping way. This is enthusiasm that you feel in your bones, a calm, joyful enthusiasm that tells you you’re on the right track, that lights you from within.
It fuels your resilience to cope when life throws you curveballs because you see the bigger picture. Calm enthusiasm is what keeps you going steady and strong, it doesn’t burn bright and then fade away.
Wild, unbridled enthusiasm requires high energy, a feeling of firing on all cylinders (what Thayer would call ‘tense energy’) which is exhilarating, exciting and energy intensive. For those of us who are quieter, perhaps more sensitive, this is unsustainable (and can be overwhelming) but calm enthusiasm – that’s something that can energise us day after day.
As other emotions take over and life gives us highs and lows, we can find our way back to what truly sparks our enthusiasm, what keeps the fire burning steadily in our guts and our souls.
The quiet reassurance of calm enthusiasm
To recognise what you’re calmly enthusiastic about consider what has held your interest, what you’ve been passionate about for a long time. Sometimes it sparks excitement and giddiness, other times it’s quietly reassuringly just there, in the back of your mind and heart.
It’s something that feels intrinsically part of you, it’s aligned with your values, it plays to your strengths, and it simply makes you smile. You can easily talk at length about the topic, especially if you meet a kindred spirit, because what you’re calmly enthusiastic about never gets old or boring to you.
Here's the powerful thing about enthusiasm – and, I’d argue, particularly the calm variety – it’s contagious.
When you live your calm enthusiasm it inspires others to find theirs. You’re demonstrating that you don’t have to be shouty to be enthusiastic (if that feels good to you, all power to you!), you can be calmly passionate about what sparks you up. And when you show that to the people around you they see how it’s possible, how they too have permission to own their enthusiasm, whatever it is, in the way that feels true to them.
For me, I’m calmly enthusiastic about helping you to feel more calm and joy every day, about independent book shops, about peanut butter and jam sandwiches (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it), about practicing self-conservation and about learning, there’s always so much more to learn…
Now, I’d love to know about you, what are you calmly enthusiastic about?
Gabrielle x
Gabrielle is a positive psychology coach helping caring, sensitive, empathetic, introvert women to bring down their stress and overwhelm, and live with more calm and joy. You can find her podcast, Pressing Pause, a resource library of free guides, her online courses and coaching info at gabrielletreanor.com. And of course you can subscribe for free to her writing at The Haven on Substack https://gabrielletreanor.substack.com.
Here’s a little window into what I’m enthusiastic about at the mo…
01 lusting after
A sewing room. I had the pleasure of trying out my friend Nerrisa’s new sewing school space in Guildford last week, and it’s left me feeling so inspired — but I do wish I had space in my flat where I could keep my sewing machine out indefinitely, and really craft an intentional space. (Breaking news: self-employed woman paying rent in London wishes for more room. Shocker.)
02 currently reading
This morning I finished Hungry by Grace Dent (affiliate link) - a gorgeous memoir about food, class, and family. Felt particularly poignant around this festive period, too!
03 wishing I wrote
This brilliant R29 article by Maggie Zhou, on fangirling and Spotify Wrapped.
04 whipping up
various blah bits and bobs, but what I’m really excited about is Flat Earth’s Christmas pizzas, which I will be trying this week!
05 listening to
Dish, by Nick Grimshaw and Angela Hartnett. It’s such a great format for a podcast (plus, it’s so lovely to have Grimmy in your ears again!).