I love reading these kinds of pieces and feeling less weird in the struggle to make friends in my 30s (fellow introvert here). I’ve seen quite a few exploring WHY it’s harder, but not many tips on how to actually manage it... would love a dummies’ guide, but I’ve concluded there’s a kind of magic unpredictable chemistry to it.
Hi Amy, so glad this resonates with you. I haven’t found the secret formula (sadly), but shaking up my work has definitely helped considerably with meeting new people which feels like a step in the right direction. Previously I felt like I was drifting further away from friends (or vice versa) and not really gaining and new ones. That balance feels like it is shifting a little now.
Thanks for mentioning how hard is it to make friends as a manager! I am an extrovert and I struggle :S I also just realised this weekend I have been invited to attend a 'friends catch-up' (what used to be a weekly thing became a yearly thing post-pandemic) and I will be the only one at the table without kids. Is that even my place anymore?
So true!! I struggle to meet new people too. Part of that is that we am also introverted and have no children. I never used to be quite so introverted though; I think it’s been a gradual change in the last ten years or so. Maybe as I’m getting older, I find that I just cba with big groups of people and noise (in busy bars, etc). I much prefer to be with one person or a small handful of people.
I changed jobs earlier this year and I’m really not enjoying it (I’m working on that!). A big part of the culture is “networking is king”, which just makes me cringe inside. The number of times I’ve been told “oh, you should talk to so-and-so, they’d be really useful...” is unreal. Who wants to be described as “useful”?! It all feels overly contrived. To that end, I’ve kind of retreated further back into my shell, which isn’t really conducive to actually meeting people! I wish I had the answers 🤷♀️
I agree, useful is not how I’d want to be described! Hope you can gradually find a way forward and formulate a plan with your job. It’s SO hard though, I remember that feeling very well.
It’s interesting what you say about gradually becoming more introverted as you’ve got older. That’s the case for me too, although I think when I was younger I didn’t realise that being an introvert was a ‘thing’. When I look back to being at uni, I always craved some alone time alongside also enjoying going out and being with friends.
‘It just needs to be with the right people’. 💯
I love reading these kinds of pieces and feeling less weird in the struggle to make friends in my 30s (fellow introvert here). I’ve seen quite a few exploring WHY it’s harder, but not many tips on how to actually manage it... would love a dummies’ guide, but I’ve concluded there’s a kind of magic unpredictable chemistry to it.
Hi Amy, so glad this resonates with you. I haven’t found the secret formula (sadly), but shaking up my work has definitely helped considerably with meeting new people which feels like a step in the right direction. Previously I felt like I was drifting further away from friends (or vice versa) and not really gaining and new ones. That balance feels like it is shifting a little now.
Thanks for mentioning how hard is it to make friends as a manager! I am an extrovert and I struggle :S I also just realised this weekend I have been invited to attend a 'friends catch-up' (what used to be a weekly thing became a yearly thing post-pandemic) and I will be the only one at the table without kids. Is that even my place anymore?
So true!! I struggle to meet new people too. Part of that is that we am also introverted and have no children. I never used to be quite so introverted though; I think it’s been a gradual change in the last ten years or so. Maybe as I’m getting older, I find that I just cba with big groups of people and noise (in busy bars, etc). I much prefer to be with one person or a small handful of people.
I changed jobs earlier this year and I’m really not enjoying it (I’m working on that!). A big part of the culture is “networking is king”, which just makes me cringe inside. The number of times I’ve been told “oh, you should talk to so-and-so, they’d be really useful...” is unreal. Who wants to be described as “useful”?! It all feels overly contrived. To that end, I’ve kind of retreated further back into my shell, which isn’t really conducive to actually meeting people! I wish I had the answers 🤷♀️
I agree, useful is not how I’d want to be described! Hope you can gradually find a way forward and formulate a plan with your job. It’s SO hard though, I remember that feeling very well.
It’s interesting what you say about gradually becoming more introverted as you’ve got older. That’s the case for me too, although I think when I was younger I didn’t realise that being an introvert was a ‘thing’. When I look back to being at uni, I always craved some alone time alongside also enjoying going out and being with friends.
Hit me up we can be hommies #doneanddone